


don't go (wasting your emotion)

by badbavarois



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Eloping, Engagement, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Secret Marriage, Weddings, also im bad at math so kevin might have been de-aged 1 year, so soft, you can't tell me andrew isn't secretly a hopeless romantic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-12 23:03:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15350691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badbavarois/pseuds/badbavarois
Summary: Neil promises to stay.This was inevitable.





	don't go (wasting your emotion)

**Author's Note:**

> ok i'm bad at math and i need to post this today otherwise i can't until august so hopefully kevin is in the right year; otherwise he can kiss my ass  
> also the title is exactly what you think it is

Bee is the first to know, two springs after Baltimore. 

 

(Andrew is still gentle with Neil, with the scabs and puckered skin and healing scars. Neil is strong enough to not need it, to not want it. That doesn’t mean he won’t do it, though. Andrew won’t become  _ them.  _ He will be what Neil needs.)

 

“That’s a big step,” she says. She’s stirring her mug of hot chocolate, three turns left and two right before circling back. “What brought this on?”

 

“After - Baltimore,” he starts, pauses. He’s better with her than he was two years ago, or even last year. She knows when to push and when to breathe, when to add marshmallows to his cocoa. She deserves the truth, as much as anyone. With her, Andrew is willing to give it. ”After Baltimore, I don’t want to be in a situation where I can’t go in the hospital room.”

 

“Is that it?” When he doesn’t respond, she smiles knowingly.

 

He drains the rest of his drink, and runs his finger along the bottom to collect the excess powder. It’s chalky. He holds out his cup until she gets the hint and refills it. She doesn’t do that often; maybe she can see how he’ll walk out otherwise and go to the coffee shop two miles away. 

 

“Have you discussed it with him yet?”

 

“No.”

 

“I think, out of all the couples I know, you’re the most likely to last. You won’t be without your problems, but you both know each other well enough to not cross boundaries you can never come back from.”

 

“Your endless optimism is sickening.”

 

“It’s not optimism, Andrew,” she chides. “It is you and Neil being honest with each other. It is trusting Neil to not be like everyone from your past. It’s  _ knowing  _ Neil will not be like them.”

 

He looks at the clock - two minutes remain in the session. He stands anyway.

 

“For what it’s worth,” she says, “I think he’ll say yes.”

 

…

 

It takes two months and rehearsing what he’ll say with Bee and smoking until his hands shake before he drives the two of them to Columbia. Kevin is fine being left behind at Coach’s so he can train, Aaron claims he has summer coursework and labs even if he’s just going to kiss Katelyn, and Nicky is already back in Germany for the summer.

 

After dinner - pasta and ice cream - Andrew leads Neil out to the back porch. He only lights one cigarette and holds it between them, so Neil can still breathe it in while Andrew takes slow drags. It’s only burnt down halfway when he stubs it out.

 

“Neil,” he says. Swallows once, and stares at the tree in the corner of the yard. Someone needs to prune it; it’s long branches are starting to grow across the fence and into the neighbor’s yard. He’ll make Nicky do it - the early June heat is suffocating and he refuses to do yard work. 

 

“Mhm?”

 

“I don’t like you getting hurt,” he starts. It’s still not the best beginning, still not the whole truth, but a truth nonetheless. 

 

“I play exy. I’m always going to get hurt.” 

 

Andrew holds back a sigh. He told Bee this would be like pulling teeth, that Neil is too oblivious to understand what he’s asking even if they went to a fancy restaurant and he left a ring on a breadstick. It makes a small corner of his mind wonder why this is even worth it, what the point is, but - Neil is worth it.  _ They’re  _ worth it.

 

“I know. That’s not what I - I don’t like when you get hurt and I can’t go in the hospital room. I don’t like when you get hurt and the nurses won’t tell me anything because I’m not - “

 

Neil is very still next to him. Andrew doesn’t know if he’s overstepping, if this is pushing them too far. Even if Neil hasn’t run in a long time, he’s still a rabbit. But last season, Neil was checked against the wall so hard he lost consciousness and Abby had to ride to the hospital in the back of an ambulance and Andrew had to finish the game alone. After, the doctor wouldn’t even tell him if Neil was awake and Andrew felt like his skin was stretched too tight, like he was losing circulation in his hands and face. Like he was losing the most important part of himself.

 

“Because I’m not your husband.”

 

When Neil doesn’t say anything, he swallows again and grabs his lighter and cigarettes before standing up. He can sleep on the armchair if Neil wants the bed, if Neil still even wants to sleep in the same room as him, if - 

 

“Andrew.”

 

He doesn’t turn around, but in the corner of his vision, he can see Neil holding his hand out. He forces himself to take it. 

 

“Yes or no?”

 

“Do you even know what I’m asking?” He still not looking at Neil, even as Neil squeezes his hand, soft, one, two, three times. 

 

“I want to marry you,” Neil says, “even if you just want to so you can see me in the hospital. I want to be with you, always.”

 

Andrew didn’t get engagement rings wedding bands, because he knew neither of them would ever wear them, but in the morning he drags Neil out to the Maserati so they can make their 10:30 appointment at a tattoo parlor across town. 

 

“Are you still sure?” he asks. They’re in the parking lot; the car is idling. 

 

“I,” Neil says, “have never been sure of anything more in my life.”

 

“You can’t run anymore.”

 

Neil reaches over the clutch and takes Andrew’s hand. “I don’t want to.”

 

Once they’re inside and the paperwork is complete, it doesn’t take long for an artist to get to them. Andrew pays while Neil gets inked. He looks up once. His eyes crinkle and his scars stretch when he smiles.

 

_ Stay. _

 

When it’s Andrew’s turn, he forces himself to not tense as the needle puncture his skin. It tickles more than it hurts as it vibrates against his ring finger.

 

_ Always. _

 

…

 

Pre-season training starts in mid-July, and with it comes physicals with Abby. She checks his arms first like always, gentle and slow, before blood pressure and pulse. 

 

“How was your summer? It must have been different, with Kevin staying with David.”

 

He thinks of Neil, too bright smile in the light of a cigarette. Thinks of his hands in Neil’s hair, kissing him sticky after sharing a pint of ice cream. “It was good,” he says.  _ Better than good,  _ he doesn’t add. 

 

She leaves him with paperwork while she goes to wash her hands, and when he gets to next of kin, he pauses. He’s been married for a month, month and a half, and it still hasn’t sunk in completely that Neil wants to stay, stay with  _ him.  _

 

_ Always.  _

 

When he finishes, he gives it back to Abby to file. She gives it a cursory glance to make sure he completed every part. He can tell the exact second she reads who he said was his next of kin.

 

“Neil Josten,” she says, like she recognizes the name but can’t quite place it. “He’s your next of kin now?”

 

He stares at her and doesn’t answer. She smiles anyway.

 

“It sounds like your summer was more than good. I’m happy for the two of you.”

 

…

 

After that, it doesn’t take Wymack long to catch on, but it still takes him a while to work up the nerve to call them into his office. Andrew’s hand is on the back of Neil’s neck, fingers curling into his damp hair. 

 

“I noticed something new on your paperwork.”

 

“And?” Neil had promised brunch after their morning practice. He’s hungry and doesn’t want to deal with his coach’s misplaced congratulations. 

 

“You two eloped?”

 

“If you consider proposing to your partner and then signing a marriage certificate at the courthouse two days later, then yes, we eloped.” Andrew is quickly growing tired of this conversation. 

 

“I’m ha - “

 

“No, thank you.” His hand drops from Neil’s neck to his hip and starts to steer him out of the room. “You’re our coach. Isn’t this above your pay grade?”

 

Wymack scowls. “Andr - “

 

“Brunch time!” He pushes Neil out of the room and slams the door behind him. 

 

This was the reason he didn’t want anyone to find out - it was their thing from the beginning, from the truths and kisses on the roof to the tattoos on their hands. It was  _ theirs.  _ He didn’t want to talk about it with people he didn’t care about. 

 

And either way, it was time for Neil to buy him waffles.

 

…

 

A bit after the school year starts, Renee drops by campus during a break between Peace Corp tours.

 

Even if he’ll never tell her, he’s missed this - fighting against someone not afraid to play dirty, against someone that can go toe to toe with him and his knives. He bruises her jaw and she leaves a shallow cut on his chest. It’s not the same as being around Neil, but it leaves something warm in the pit of his stomach all the same. 

 

Afterward, she hands him a bottle of water. When he reaches out to take it, she pauses, smiles. 

 

“Is that a tattoo, Andrew?”

 

He glances at his hand and shrugs. “What about it?”

 

“I noticed a similar one on Neil last night. That’s not a coincidence.” She doesn’t phrase it as a question. There was no need to - she could always read him too well.

 

“We got married.” He figures she'll find out soon enough. “Back in June.”

 

“Congratulations are in order, then, aren’t they?” She holds a hand above his shoulder; when he nods, she squeezes it for half of a second before letting go. “I know it is not my place, but I’m very happy for the two of you.”

 

“Neil,” he says before pausing, not sure how to continue, “is prone to getting injured, either because of his own stupidity or his inability to not antagonize others. At least this way I can kill him while he’s still in the hospital instead of waiting for him to be released.”

 

She nods, still smiling. She remembers better than anyone how he handled the last time Neil was hurt seriously in a game, and they all remember when the FBI had him handcuffed to Wymack. 

 

“I know Neil is very important to you, as you are to him. I wish you many happy years.”

 

“Shut up, Christian Girl,” he mutters, but there’s no real heat to it. Out of the entire team, he thinks, rubbing the tattoo with his thumb, she was the best to find out. 

 

That doesn’t mean she has to know she’s correct.

 

…

 

Halfway through the season, Neil gets hurt during an away game against Blackwell. 

 

It’s nothing serious, just his left hand caught between a racquet and a wall. Neil barely gets out an  _ I’m fine  _ before Kevin is on him, preaching about the importance of taking time after injuries and not fucking yourself up even more just for a game. 

 

Abby makes him sit out for the rest of it even if there are only ten minutes left in the final quarter, so he plops down on the bench next to Andrew. Both of his gloves are off from when Abby was checking for damage; the skin is red and inflamed. Andrew presses ice against it until the bell rings at the end of the game.

 

Andrew scowls when Katelyn comes by after the good game ritual. Even if his deal with Aaron is over, he still doesn’t like her. 

 

“Can I look at your hand?” she asks Neil, completely ignoring him. She’s smarter than he gives her credit for. He still watches anyway, because it’s Neil and he’s an idiot who pushes himself too far.

 

When Neil offers it to her, she holds it gently, palm up. It reminds Andrew of Abby. The thought twists unhappily in his stomach. 

 

When she flips it over to look at the bones, she pauses. _“Stay,”_ she reads. “What does that mean?”

 

Aaron is standing behind her when she says that, talking to one of the new freshman backliners, but his head whips around when he hears that.

 

“A promise,” Neil says. He doesn’t elaborate when Katelyn looks at him expectantly. 

 

_ Later,  _ Aaron mouths to Andrew. He doesn’t care, as long Aaron doesn’t throw a homophobic fit in front of the team.

 

Instead, he throws one in the away team locker room once everyone else files out to talk to Wymack about the game.

 

_ “Stay,”  _ he spits out. “What is that supposed to mean? That he’s yours and not allowed to run off anymore?”

 

Andrew is about to slip a knife out when Neil steps in front of him. 

 

“Neither of us like rings. Tattoos made more sense, so shut up about things that don’t concern you, yeah?” Andrew can’t see his face, but he knows Neil well enough to guess what his smile looks like. It’s even easier when Aaron flinches. 

 

He lets Neil drag him out of the room. 

 

“He’s so fucking annoying sometimes,” Neil whispers as they walk. His hand is shaking where it’s still wrapped around Andrew’s wrist. “He’s going to get himself punched one of these days.”

 

“Normally,” Andrew says, “I would be against anyone hurting him. I might make you the exception.”

 

Neil smiles at him, blink-and-you-miss-it quick.

 

It’s not his father’s.

 

…

 

Somehow, none of the other foxes find out until right before the monsters graduate. 

 

Nicky is on the couch in the suite whining about how he won’t see the twins or Neil as much anymore when he’s in Germany, how they’ll have to sell the house in Columbia soon, how - 

 

“Andrew,” he screams, shooting up on the couch. “You’ll need to get health insurance since you won’t be on the school’s anymore, Aaron is fine with grad school’s - “

 

“Andrew’s covered,” Neil says, poking his head through the bedroom door. He’s shoving clothes in his suitcase and old notes in the garbage in preparation for moving day. “He’s on mine.”

 

Andrew decides to lean back and watch Nicky’s ensuing freak out. Neil dug this hole; he can dig himself back out. 

 

Nicky does a double take, wrenching his head from Neil in the doorway to Andrew in the kitchen waiting for his waffle to toast and then back to Neil. “He’s  _ what?!” _

 

“We have a plan together? Andrew hasn’t been on the school’s all year.”

 

“How is he - “ Realization dawns on Nicky’s face. “You two got married? I can’t believe you didn’t invite me! I can’t believe you didn’t even  _ tell  _ me!” 

 

Neil flinches back into the room when Nicky runs over to get a hug. “It wasn’t a big deal. You were in Germany - “

 

“Germany!” Nicky flops back until the couch, back of his hand against his forehead. 

 

“And we were in Columbia - “

 

“Columbia!”

 

“So we decided - “

 

“Without - “

 

“Nicky,” Andrew says, quiet but still sharp enough to cut through Nicky’s screaming. “There was no need for you there. So instead of shouting at my  _ husband  _ \- “ the word is still hard to get out, but worth it, to see Nicky’s reaction, “ - fucking pack to move back to Germany.”

 

Nicky’s crying at this point. Snot is all over his face and his lip is quivering. 

 

It’s disgusting, but worth it, Andrew decides.

 

…

 

It takes less than a day for the rest of the foxes to find out and call Neil. Once they’re on the roof, Andrew steals his phone and shuts it off to stop the insistent buzzing. 

 

“God damn gossips,” he says, shaking out a cigarette, “all of them.”

 

He doesn’t even want to guess how many bets were ended and how much money changed hands. When it came to the foxes, they were nothing if not predictable and exhausting. 

 

…

 

After Neil graduates, they end up on a professional team together with Kevin. It’s annoying, knowing that even after graduating from PSU, he’s still not free from him.

 

(Being on a team with Neil, though, is nice, even if he is a junkie. Andrew just won’t ever tell him that.)

 

It’s not until the first official practice of the season, though, that Andrew realizes he failed to notice one crucial detail. 

 

“Why did coach order you so many jerseys?” Kevin asks, holding one up. The home jerseys are purple with gold lettering - infinitely better than orange and white, Andrew thinks wryly. He knows it says  _ MINYARD  _ across the back. Apparently, Kevin didn’t notice it also has a ten instead of a three. 

 

“That one isn’t mine.”

 

“Of course it is. It says your name. Did Aaron suddenly decide to drop out of med school?”

 

Neil,  _ of course,  _ walks into the lounge then. When he sees Kevin, his face breaks into a grin. “My jerseys came in? Coach said they weren’t supposed to be here until next week.”

 

“What are you talking about?” Kevin’s frown grows. 

 

“I changed my last name to Minyard?”

 

“Why - ?”

 

“Because Andrew and I are married? Nicky told everyone last year.”

 

Kevin faints. At this point, Andrew isn’t surprised. He deserves it at this point.

**Author's Note:**

> ty for reading! comments/kudos are appreciated, requests are open but slow/not guarenteed :)  
> tumblr - shuos-jedao/claude-lit  
> twitter - saphho-jpg


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